Where have all the notable movie critics gone?

Are there any wannabe amateur film critics out there who think their writing could one day be the equivalent of such opinionated and popular film critics as Vincent Canby, Roger Ebert, Pauline Kael, Gene Siskel and Bruce Williamson?

It's a question I have been asking myself now more than ever, given the recent firing in March of top film critic Todd McCarthy by the editors of Variety magazine. McCarthy had been with the publication since 1979 and was among several employees the publication laid off as a cost-cutting measure, according to a March 8 article on www.thewrap.com.

"We are not changing our review policy," said Variety's Group Editor Tim Gray. "Last year we ran more than 1,200 film reviews. No other news outlet comes even close, and we will continue to be the leader in numbers and quality. It doesn't make economic sense to have full-time reviewers but Todd, Derek (Elley), and David (Rooney} have been asked to continue as freelancers."

The larger blow to fans of film criticism, however, came late March with news that after 24 seasons, "At the Movies," the popular show that started with Chicago film critics Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert, was canceled. Its roots date back to 1975 when the show was called "Sneak Previews" on PBS. The program's final broadcast with current critics, A.O. Scott and Michael Phillips, will air Aug. 14.

I know there are a lot of movie-goers out there who apparently can't make up their mind and don't feel like wasting two hours of their time sitting through a movie they may not like. They need guidance when it comes to movies, or anything else for that matter. So they rely on the likes of Ebert, Rolling Stone's Peter Travers and reviewers in their local city paper, or they ask some underpaid, overworked customer service representative in a blue shirt at their neighborhood Blockbuster Video if a certain new release on the shelves is worth their money.

Back when I lived in Chicago in the '70s and early '80s, I made it a weekly Friday and Sunday ritual to go through the entertainment sections of the Chicago Tribune and Chicago Sun Times to see what Siskel and Ebert said about the week's latest releases. It wasn't that I was hoping they would like a movie that I liked.

God knows they've endorsed movies I loathed, like Howard's End (1992), The English Patient (1996), and The Last Temptation of Christ (1988), all of which I should keep on my shelf as a means to cure insomnia.

I looked to their reviews, whether they were positive or negative. It's the only reason why today, I still sometimes download their review segments on www.youtube.com and www.atthemoviestv.com. I want to hear them argue passionately why one disagrees on a title the other likes, such as Benji the Hunted (1987), Full Metal Jacket (1987), and The Doors (1991).

Back then, my reason for referring to such reviews that Pauline Kael wrote or Bruce Williamson of Playboy wrote is because I was interested in what they had to say. [Yes perverts -- there was more than one reason to read Playboy, and it wasn't just for the X-rated pictorials].

Today, that's not the case. Movie reviews today read like press releases. Every time I read someone's review that says, "for a good date movie," or "for a good action adventure movie," I cringe, because the writer has no idea what I like. I don't want to know if they claim I am going to like it. I want to know what they thought about it.

There is a wealth of information on the Internet and in magazines now that I can go to for information and reviews on the latest movies from Film Comment and Empire magazine to Entertainment Weekly and even Variety, which says despite McCarthy's departure, the publication is still going to run reviews from other writers. They just won't be by the ones readers have come to know over the past three decades.

Despite At the Movies' cancellation, Ebert has said on his blog that he is working on a new film review program to feature two new critics. The thumbs will return he has said. The question is, who he gets? I doubt they will have the same cultural impact as he and Siskel, who passed away in 1999, or Siskel's replacement, Richard Roeper, did.

Whoever is in the balcony, I don't think we will see their likenesses parodied in Mad magazine, in a Batman comic book, in an animated cartoon called "The Critic" (1994-1995) or in movies like Summer School (1987) and Godzilla (1998). Nor do I see them making appearances with Jay Leno and David Letterman.

There will always be film critics, probably more, now that anyone can do a blog, just not the notably famous writers I enjoyed reading on a regular basis. For me personally, the balcony closed a long time ago.

©4/28/10

What a loser!

The Losers ««
PG-13, 98m., 2010 

Cast & Credits: Jeffrey Dean Morgan (Clay), Zoe Saldana (Aisha), Chris Evans (Jensen), Idris Elba (Roque), Columbus Short (Pooch), Oscar Jaenada (Cougar), Jason Patric (Max), Holt McCallany (Wade). Screenplay by Peter Berg and James Vanderbilt based on characters created by Andy Diggle. Directed by Sylvain White.

Were it not for one scene in the trailer that caught my attention from a nostalgic standpoint, I would have gladly passed on seeing The Losers. The scene, in particular, is the shot of a beaten down yellow Ford Pinto two of the heroes use as they wait for the bad guy to show up.

“I sure hope he doesn’t see us in this bright, yellow banana,” Rogue (Idris Elba) says to Clay (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), the leader of a CIA black ops team out for revenge against Max (Jason Patric), the guy who targeted them for assassination.

“Are you embarrassed to be seen in an American classic,” Clay asks.

The reason that old yellow Ford Pinto got my attention was because it was the same colored car I drove back in high school and for a few years after graduation. That “American classic” was rusted out, had a broken passenger seat, would play only AM radio stations, had no air conditioning (they didn’t have air conditioners), and no protective covering for the gas tank. The vehicle was a driving time bomb as my dad never took it in when Ford recalled them back in the 1970s for an upgrade after a scandal erupted surrounding the automobile's lack of protective gas covering. It was reported a hit from behind would possibly cause the car's fuel tank to rupture and explode.

Yes, when friends of mine sat in it, I could honestly say they were embarrassed to be seen in this “bright yellow banana.”

I thought about that scene watching The Losers and wondered if maybe these heroes are not that smart. What worse way can the good guys draw attention to themselves and perhaps give the villain a clue they were after him by waiting for his arrival in a vehicle clearly out of place with today’s 21st century automobiles?

My hopes of any enjoyment watching The Losers ended within the first 15 minutes or so. Seeing 25 innocent children, who were pawns at the hands of a drug lord Clay’s CIA unit was asked to put out of commission, getting blown out of the sky, my heart sank. Maybe it’s me, and I am certain many, if not all, will say it is. Be that as it may, I find the older and grouchier I get, the more critical I am towards the kinds of unsettling, perhaps unnecessary, violence a lot of today’s movies resort to showing, especially when kids are involved. I don’t see how I can enjoy a film where a child is either in danger or dies tragically. I get this in the news every day. I don’t need it displayed for me on the big screen, even if it is “only” a movie, and where in the case of this film is the reason why Clay and his crew are out for revenge against Max.

“That was supposed to be us,” Clay says to his men as he picks up a burning teddy bear from the wreckage a kid was holding moments before. Clay’s men go by one-word code names like Pooch (Columbus Short), a hotshot pilot and driver. I suspect Cougar (Oscar Jaenada) got his name because he is an expert marksman. There is a reason why one character is called “Rogue” (Idris Elba) which I won’t reveal here. Finally, there is Jensen (Chris Evans) who apparently doesn’t have a code name and is the most colorful of the bunch. He jams to Journey’s Don’t Stop Believin and has trouble making small talk with women, in particular with the mysterious government operative Aisha (Zoe Saldana) who wants Max dead for other reasons.The Losers is what I call “A-Team lite” as it is the first of four action/adventure/comedy films due out between now and August. It exhibits the same good guy versus bad guy plots as MacGruber (out May 21), the big screen remake of The A-Team (out June 11), and finally The Expendables (Aug. 13) with Sylvester Stallone. All four films feature the good guys in either mercenary type roles, former government agents, or wanted military servicemen on the run to avenge their downfalls on those who framed them.

Of the four, I don’t think I’d be terribly off the mark in predicting the most successful in terms of box office revenue will be The A-Team given it’s based on a popular television show of the 80s and boasts a promising cast headed by Liam Neeson. The same goes for Stallone’s The Expendables. I don’t watch Saturday Night Live but those who do and are familiar with Will Forte’s comedy routines will probably be interested in seeing MacGruber.

I can also safely predict that after seeing all four, The Losers will be the film I liked least. Granted, it has everything to offer in terms of action and fight sequences. I don’t think anyone watching this will be at all bored given all the many scenes of automatic weapons blazing, some of which is shot in slow motion to give viewers the full visual effect. Viewers of both sexes smitten with actress Zoe Saldana (Star Trek, Avatar – 2009) will be pleased. She is a beautiful woman. The April 28, 2010 issue of People’s 50 Most Beautiful Women says so. I wouldn’t be surprised if her name comes up as a possible love interest for the next James Bond installment if that ever happens.

The film boasts a couple redeeming qualities. I like Jeffrey Dean Morgan, for example, who stole the show as the anti-hero The Comedian in last year’s overlong, yet faithfully adapted Watchmen. That film literally sprang to life for the brief time Morgan was on screen. Jason Patric has a few amusing moments as the villain like when he tries teaching one foreign henchman how to win at poker with no success.

As a result of that one scene involving the Ford Pinto I saw from the trailer, however, I got the impression The Losers might be an enjoyably, brainless, fun action/adventure popcorn movie. If all one is looking for is a lot of choreographed action sequences and a few slices of female cheesecake, The Losers offers plenty of that. I want more from a mindlessly silly popcorn movie though. One where I can emotionally root for the good guys, and maybe relish the way a villain steals the show, if not cheer the moment he gets his comeuppance. That’s what’s missing from The Losers. Excuse me for having higher expectations.

It reminds me of another nostalgic moment back in the early 1980s of a popular Wendy’s “Where’s the beef” commercial. A trio of old ladies are served what they assume will be a deliciously, juicy hamburger only to receive a huge bun and a very, very small piece of meat.

The Losers boasts all the promising trimmings but very little “meat. Oh, and about that yellow 76’ Ford Pinto I drove eons ago? Someone actually bought it but that wasn’t the end of the “bright yellow banana.” The fiery end came later with a phone call from the police who told us the car was totaled in an accident after being hit from behind and exploded. We wouldn’t have known that if my dad signed over the title. So much for an “American classic.”

©4/26/10

"Kick-Ass" kicks ass and not in a good way

Kick-Ass «½
R, 117m., 2010

Cast & Credits: Aaron Johnson (Dave Lizewski/Kick-Ass), Christopher Mintz-Plasse (Chris D’Amico/Red Mist), Mark Strong (Frank D’Amico), Chloe Grace Moretz (Mindy Macready/Hit Girl), Nicolas Cage (Damon Macready/Big Daddy), Omari Hardwick (Sergeant Marcus Williams), Xander Berkeley (Detective Gigante). Screenplay by Matthew Vaughn and Jane Goldman based on source material from the comic book: Kick-Ass by Mark Millar and John S. Romita. Directed by Matthew Vaughn.

There is a scene from The Losers, out in theaters April 23, I caught a few days ago where a guy gets blown off his motorcycle and flies right into a moving turbine jet engine, which in turn explodes. I laughed watching that clip as I know such a stunt probably wouldn’t happen in real life. At least I don’t think it’s been covered on SpikeTV’s 1000 Ways to Die yet. I could be wrong.

The Losers, however, doesn’t feature nerdy high school kids donning superhero garb that includes an 11-year-old girl delivering deadly vigilante style justice to the bad guys the way the characters do in Kick-Ass. I expect this kind of behavior to come from adult characters in violent R rated movies like The Losers, or anything Quentin Tarantino has churned out over the years. When I see an 11-year-old girl dressed in a purple leather outfit with a mask named Hit Girl (Chloe Grace Moritz) use some double edged sword to single handedly wipe out a few henchmen and leave them for dead, I don’t see anything funny about it. I find it kind of disturbing.

As is the scene between Hit Girl and her father, code named “Big Daddy” (Nicolas Cage) who when asked what she wants for her birthday, it’s not a dog but a bench made model 42 butterfly knife. I have no idea what that is. I am sure she uses it to slaughter the bad guys in one scene. Come to think of it, I have no idea what half the arsenal of automatic weapons are called that Big Daddy has adorning the walls of his little studio, which also doubles as his office drawing comic pictorials of New York City’s mob boss Frank D’Amico (Mark Strong) and his hit men. It turns out Big Daddy was a former decorated police officer who was framed by D’Amico and sent to prison. With the help of his daughter, he has plans for revenge.

All this is mixed in with the main story surrounding high school student Dave Livewski (Aaron Johnson), an avid comic book reader with few friends who is inspired to become a green suited superhero named Kick-Ass. While attempting to retrieve someone’s lost cat, Kick-Ass stumbles upon a group of thugs beating up on another guy one night and does to the group exactly what his name suggests, so much so, he becomes an overnight sensation on youtube.com where the number of hits reaches over 1 million.

It’s the result of Kick-Ass’ sudden popularity that Hit Girl and Big Daddy are born. So too is another superhero/anti-hero named Red Mist (Christopher Mintz-Plasse), who in real life is the son of mobster Frank D’Amico named Chris. Frank assumes it is Kick-Ass who’s been knocking off his henchmen and wants him dead. Chris hatches a plan to create a new superhero as a means to find Kick-Ass and perhaps even nab Big Daddy and Hit Girl at the same time.Kick-Ass boasts less than a handful of humorous scenes with mock references to Batman and Superman as Dave’s friends, who have no idea he is actually Kick-Ass, asking themselves if Kick-Ass and Red Mist were in a fight, who would win? It’s like listening to die-hard Star Wars geeks ask each other if Darth Vader went up against Darth Maul, who would be victorious, or to be more precise, Batman versus Superman.

If only the film offered more of these kind of clever mock tributes to movies and superheroes past. In the tradition of Superman’s Lois Lane asking herself how every time the Man of Steel appears, Clark Kent is never around, there is a scene where Dave’s friends ponder the same thing as video of Kick-Ass and Big Daddy being captured by the gangsters is played out on network television and on the internet and ask themselves how strange it is that Dave is not around.

The trouble with Kick-Ass is fantasy and reality don’t mix. For every memorable sequence that comes up like that, the mood is quickly ruined, for example, by a shot of Dave’s superhero getting knifed by a bully. What starts out as fun with the sound of triumphant pulse pounding music as a means to get viewers excited, ends with Dave almost dying in the hospital after being hit by a car. It’s like getting punched in the stomach. The film is no longer fun.

I know some people reading this, in particular fans of violent comic books, will say I need to lighten up and that I am the reason why no one listens to movie critics anymore. I have no doubt they probably already compare film critics to that of Congress in that they are about as out of touch with what moviegoers like as the government is working for the American people.

I don’t mind mindless cartoonish R rated violence. As I said in the opening paragraph, I laughed watching that clip from The Losers. I liked Tarantino’s Kill Bill movies with Uma Thurman from 2003 and 2004. Tarantino made those movies as a homage to the ultra-violent and bloody martial arts films. The Star Wars movies represent cartoonish violence, even Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (2005), which got a PG-13 because of what graphically happens to Anakin Skywalker near the end.

There is something wrong though when we see high school kids, and in particular, an 11-year-old girl acting out the same kind of blood thirsty violence that adult characters do, like as though seeing someone crushed to death inside a trash compactor will have no effect on someone that young.

I suppose I should be thankful that characters like Kick-Ass and Hit Girl killed off only the ones who had it coming to them. Their desire to become superheroes came from the comic books, if not from Big Daddy. At least they weren’t playing Doom and watching Natural Born Killers (1994) like the two young killers did as inspiration to murder fellow classmates at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado back in 1999 for no good reason.

©4/21/10

Obama justified in gay rights issues

"You can't always get what you want."

That is a lyric from a song by the Rolling Stones. It's also what I felt like telling members of the gay community heckling President Obama recently at a fundraiser for U. S. Sen., Barbara Boxer (D-Calif.), in Los Angeles.

The April 19 protests at the Natural History Museum reportedly came from members of GetEQUAL, a lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender group.

"Repeal 'Don't ask, don't tell," shouted one member.

"It's time for equality for all Americans," said another.

"We're going to do that," Obama responded.

I may not be for a lot of what Obama has done to the country during his time in office but believe it or not, there are a couple things I am actually for in terms of helping the gay community.

The most recent decision the president passed that I am for regards same-sex couples. All hospitals must now allow patients to say who has visitation rights and who can make medical decisions, which includes gay and lesbian partners.

"Every day, all across America, patients are denied the kindnesses and caring of a loved one at their side -- whether in a sudden medical emergency or a prolonged hospital stay. Often, a widow or widower with no children is denied the support and comfort of a good friend," the president said in a statement. "Also uniquely affected are gay and lesbian Americans who are often barred from the bedsides of the partners with whom they may have spent decades of their lives - unable to be there for the person they love, and unable to act as a legal surrogate if their partner is incapacitated."

When it comes to alternative lifestyles, I am not for it, but that doesn't mean same-sex couples should be penalized and not given the same rights during hospital visits that immediate family members receive.

On that same note, I am also for the president pushing to repeal the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy the military has held since the 1990s.

It's a decision Defense Secretary Robert Gates supports, as does Adm. Mike Mullen, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, who was quoted saying in a Feb. 2 article from FOXNews.com that changing the policy is "the right thing to do."

"I cannot escape being troubled by the fact that we have in place a policy that forces young men and women to lie about who they are in order to defend their fellow citizens," Mullen said. "For me, personally, it comes down to integrity -- theirs as individuals and ours as an institution."

People should not be penalized based upon their alternative lifestyle -- banned from defending their country. There is something wrong when a person joins the Air Force with aspirations of one day flying a fighter plane and then gets kicked out of the military all because protocol was violated. What do their personal lives have to do with them wanting to serve their country?

There is nothing I can't stand more than to hear some right-wing, pro-Christian, Bible-quoting advocate tell me the reason they don't want gays in the military is because they are afraid of what might happen if a gay and a straight person are in a foxhole together. They are afraid the straight person will get jumped on late at night from behind. Sad to say, I actually know people who think this. That idea is about as ridiculous as someone saying God created AIDS to punish the gay community for their immorality.

Just because people are against someone else's lifestyle doesn't give one the right to pass judgment on them and say, "The life you lead is not how God wants you to live, so you are damned to Hell." How does anyone know that upon death, depending on one's religious beliefs, that one will go to Hell because he/she lived an "alternative" lifestyle frowned upon by society?

I know that getting "Don't ask, don't tell" repealed faces as much of an uphill battle as nationalized health care did but it is a step in the right direction.

I suspect even if Congress does get it repealed, the gay community still won't be happy. They will still argue that the president is not doing enough for gay rights, which goes back to the title of that Rolling Stones song.

"Let me say this -- when you've got an ally like Barbara Boxer and you've got an ally like me who are standing for the same thing, then you don't know exactly why you've got to holler because we already hear you," Obama said. "I mean, it would have made more sense to holler that at the people who oppose it."

I am not a member of the gay community, however, if I were, I wouldn't be out heckling the president at a rally. I'd just be happy that there is someone in Washington who is trying to get things passed for those who lead alternative lifestyles and hope that he/she will live up to the promises they made during their campaign.

©4/20/10

Being dead is no fun

After.Life ««½
R, 104m., 2009

Cast & Credits: Liam Neeson (Eliot Deacon), Christina Ricci (Anna Taylor), Justin Long (Paul), Chandler Canterbury (Tom Peterson), Celia Weston (Beatrice Taylor). Screenplay by Agnieszka Wojtowicz-Vosloo, Paul Vosloo, and Jakub Korolczuk. Directed by Agnieszka Wojtowicz-Vosloo.

If someone told me they have no fear of anything, I’d have to question whether or not they are really human. I think we all have a fear of something. For me, other than being afraid of heights, one of my two darkest fears is that of being buried alive.

The other is being the unlucky victim of “Locked In Syndrome"; a condition where as a result of irreparable damage to the brainstem leaves the victim aware of their surroundings but they are unable to communicate, save for their eye movements. They can’t even move their mouths to eat. They are a vegetable. Although I can't remember where I read this on the Internet, an article I came across described the horrible condition as being buried alive.

Watching After.Life, I wondered if “Locked In Syndrome” was what school teacher Anna Taylor (Christina Ricci) was suffering from as she was lying on a silver metallic slab at the local mortuary, half the time unable to move as mortician Eliot Deacon (Liam Neeson) slowly removes her clothes. Judging by the way Deacon meticulously and methodically works carefully choosing his surgical instruments, it’s obvious this isn’t the first time he has prepared the dead for a funeral service.

“You have to look beautiful for your funeral,” Deacon tells Anna. “This is how they are all going to remember you.”

Throughout much of After.Life, we see Anna and Deacon engage in brief dark conversations about life and death as she tries to convince him she really isn’t dead.

The dead always say that, Deacon tells her, who apparently may have the supernatural ability to talk with corpses. Or maybe the job of being a mortician and dealing with grieving families is such a lonely one, that he has never found the time to really converse with the living.

Even after being shown the death certificate, Anna still has trouble being convinced that she died in a car accident. So too, for a while are we.

After.Life marks the second film this year I have seen to address a morbid subject. The first was Peter Jackson’s The Lovely Bones, which I found insulting. I despised the way Jackson took the sad story of a murdered young girl, played by Saorise Ronan, completely told from her point of view in the “after life” from a fantasy standpoint. Seeing her romp around with other lost young souls in what could be a beautiful rendition of either Heaven or Purgatory as she looks down watching her family members grieve and the killer getting away with murder, I got the impression this is how clinically depressed people hope their next life will be like after committing suicide. What a lousy message.

Now comes After.Life and its message here is just the opposite and more foreboding and unsettling. There is nothing to look forward to when you’re dead. That’s it. The mood here is as cold and reclusive as the metallic slab Anna is laid on. Or as cold as the cemetery and mortuary home Deacon resides in. Yet, I find myself more drawn to this one than The Lovely Bones.

Much of the first half of After.Life borders on being a chilling ghost story. We meet a bullied young kid (Chandler Canterbury), one of Anna’s students who, like Deacon, has the ability to see the dead. Or can he? If Anna is really dead, why is her breath on the mirror every time she looks at her pale, white corpse image? Anna’s long time boyfriend Paul (Justin Long), stricken with grief, suffers from horrible nightmares of seeing her naked in the shower holding her beating heart, and receives a spiritual phone call from Anna, that at first, he accepts as a prank call.

I loved the character exchanges and dialogue, in particular the lines spoken by Neeson and I found his performance friendly and creepy at the same time. His love of adorning his bedroom wall with photos of his corpses, one boasting emotion with their eyes open, the other of them at peace in their coffins, reminded me of the unstable photo employee Robin Williams played in One Hour Photo (2002), who by comparison adorns his walls with photos of a suburban family he is obsessed with.

I enjoyed Ricci’s performance though I am hesitant, given that much of the role requires her to run around the mortuary either drugged up in red negligee and panties, while others she is sprawled out naked on the table, to say she makes a good looking corpse. I suspect fans of Maxim magazine who thrive on viewing scantily clad photos of female celebrities on a monthly basis will have no complaints in this department.

The trouble with her character is the same problem I had with Hillary Swank’s female aviator from last year’s box office failure, Amelia. The performance is just not good enough to make me feel for her emotionally and hope she might get out of this horrific dilemma. Like Swank’s Amelia where I found it hard to hope she would not meet her grim fate as history records, when Anna talks about the things she wished she had done when she was alive, the time to feel for her comes too late.

The film’s other downfall is the unique twist that’s revealed in the end. I am not going to tell you how it ends. What I will say is it’s not the kind of twist that makes one either laugh or walk out in unexpected amazement as the end credits roll that gets audience members asking each other, “What did you think of that ending?”

Is After.Life a grim, somber psychological horror and perhaps maybe even an intriguing murder mystery? Yes. Is it fun in the way one enjoys being scared? No. Even the hauntingly, slow moving song by Radiohead called "Exit Music" played as the end credits roll leaves one with a feeling a utter hopelessness. Will After.Life make it in the top ten box office hits for any week? No.

The film borderlines more between that of an independent art house film and a cult movie. I know it will likely have an “After Life” on DVD and Blu-ray, in particular, during Halloween.

Or maybe in a time where city councils are passing laws barring people from using cell phones and text messaging while driving, perhaps someone will use an early clip from the movie showing how Anna wound up on that metallic slab in the first place. She was fiddling around in her purse looking for her cell phone at the time. That might make for a good public service message as a means to tell people to concentrate more on the road, especially when driving at night during a heavy thunderstorm.

©4/12/10

A look at how nationalized health care legislation got passed from an entertainment perspective

"So this is how liberty dies…with thunderous applause."

Such were the words spoken in Star Wars - Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (2005) when galactic senators applauded Emperor Palpatine's order to create the Imperial Empire, in what was clearly seen in that "galaxy far, far away" as a socialist dictatorship.

I thought about that after watching Democratic senators on the House floor cheer March 21 when national health care passed in a 219-212 vote, with no regard for what American thought.

A good number of films and one current science-fiction television show came to mind as I thought about how this 2,000-plus page, $90 billion monstrosity called health care legislation was passed.

It was us, conservative Americans, better known as "The Rebellion" from that "galaxy far, far away," who lost March 21. The Democratic Party was impenetrable against the Tea Party movement. We might as well have been on that ice planet, Hoth, in The Empire Strikes Back (1980) going up against those metallic four-legged Imperial Walkers.

When it comes to how bad things are getting in this country, I am reminded of the comments Peter Finch's unstable newscaster Howard Beale uttered in Network (1976) shortly before he told viewers to yell, "I'm mad as Hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!"

"It's a depression," Beale says. "Everybody's out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel's work. Banks are going bust. Shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter. Punks are running wild in the street and there's nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there's no end to it. We know the air is unfit to breathe and our food is unfit to eat, and we sit watching our TVs while some local newscaster tells us that today we had 15 homicides and 63 violent crimes, as if that's the way it's supposed to be."

I find it sad that in the 34 years since that film came out, the same still applies today in this country. Is this what people refer to in the movies as "timeless?"

When Captain Kirk in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991) refuses to trust his sworn enemies, the Klingons, and says, "I have never trusted Klingons and I never will. I can never forgive them for the death of my boy," I came up with my own line applying my utter contempt for the Democratic Party.

"I have never trusted Democrats and I never will. I can never forgive them for passing health care legislation without so much as a thought to what the American people want."

I have made it no secret how much I have been against President Obama's administration and his radical socialist agenda. I, for one, stand proud I did not drink from the Obama Kool-aid that Hollywood and the liberal drive-by media have been feeding the gullible public over the past year and a half.

I was as skeptical of this young African-American Democratic presidential candidate from Chicago from the get-go as FBI Agent Erica Evans, the character Elizabeth Mitchell plays on ABC's V who doesn't trust Anna, the attractive high-heeled slender leader of The Visitors who've come from another "galaxy far, far away" to provide the people of Earth universal health care.

Many Americans are either skeptical on whether this health care package will benefit the country as a whole or want the entire bill scrapped. Many are furious at how Democrats are trying to change, ignore and rewrite the constitution.

When are these free-loading liberals, all of whom stupidly think they are entitled to get something for nothing and that the government's No. 1 job is to take care of their lazy, sorry asses, going to get it through their thick skulls the reason we don't want this billion-dollar joke is not because we don't feel the nation's health care system needs to be overhauled. Everyone agrees that something has to be done. It's because we don't want the government mandating that we all have to have health insurance, whether we want it or not.

You liberals might get off paying high taxes, and thrive on being told what to do, how to think, what to say, what to watch, what to eat, what to read, what to buy, who to vote for as though you were still living under your parents' roof following their rules, but I sure don't.

It's no secret a lot of Democrats are scared they could be voted out of office this November as a result of the health care legislation passing and they very well should be.

When it comes to how conservative Americans feel about how this health care bill was passed, to quote the promotional line from V, "It's US versus THEM." Or to quote a character from the recent box office hit, Clash of the Titans, "One day, somebody's got to make a stand. One day, somebody's got to say: Enough.”

Obama's radical socialist Empire might have struck back March 21 against the American people. Come November 2010, if conservatives, libertarians and maybe even Democrats who voted for him and are now refusing to drink the liberal kool-aid have their say, the election results for Republicans might not be so much a case of "Return" as it is "Revenge of the Jedi."

©4/5/10

A Clash of the Titans for a new generation

Clash of the Titans «««
PG-13, 110m., 2010

Cast & Credits: Sam Worthington (Perseus), Liam Neeson (Zeus), Ralph Fiennes (Hades), Jason Flemyng (Calibos/Acrisius), Gemma Arterton (Io), Alexa Davalos (Andromeda), Mads Mikkelsen (Draco). Screenplay by Travis Beacham, Phil Hay, and Matt Mandredi based on the 1981 screenplay by Beverley Cross. Directed by Louis Leterrier.



The first sign that the Clash of the Titans remake is not your daddy’s 1981 fantasy adventure comes within the first half hour when Perseus (Sam Worthington), a Demi-God and mortal son of Zeus, is about to embark on a perilous journey along with a handful of Greek soldiers to save the city of Argos.

As Perseus grabs an assortment of weapons, he comes across a living mechanical droid owl and is told by one of the soldiers to toss it back in the box.

I have not yet seen the 1981 original. Thanks to the trailers I saw back then, however, not only do I recall seeing a few notable actors like Laurence Olivier donning white toga garb, I also remembered there being a flying, mechanical droid owl.

The best remakes I believe are the ones where the filmmakers pay brief homage to its predecessor whether it’s having one or two members make a cameo appearance, or in the case of this new Clash of the Titans, referencing the original’s visual effects. Seeing Worthington’s Perseus toss that poor owl back in the box, I got the impression this was director Louis Leterrier’s way of saying to the original's fans to forget everything they remember about the 81’ version. This is a Clash of the Titans for a new generation.

Since I haven’t seen the first film, watching this version is like seeing a new movie for the first time. I am, however, familiar with a few of the characters we meet here like the Greek God Zeus (Liam Neeson) whose home on Mount Olympus looks like a city in the clouds and Medusa, whose snakelike hair and beauty turns soldiers into stone. Yet, I don’t think anyone would accuse me of lying if I said I am 110 percent certain the film follows the exact same storyline as the original.

I seriously doubt Clash of the Titans will receive, much less, win any Oscars next year in the categories of visual effects or performances. The film wasn’t made to be Oscar worthy. Titans is an often fun, mindless two-hour getaway fantasy adventure. If it lacks anything it is that I failed to find myself rooting for Worthington’s hero Perseus much less loathing Hades (Ralph Fiennes), the underworld God who gives the people of Argos three days to offer up the king’s daughter, Andromeda (Alexa Davalos), as a sacrifice to Zeus or suffer dire consequences.

I also found that for a guy like Perseus, whose adopted family is killed by Hades and who he vows revenge against, that when the final battle between God and Demi-god finally arrived, the duel ended too quickly. It’s almost as though the whole point of Perseus’ adventure was not so much to avenge his family’s deaths against Hades as it was to take the audience on a computer generated adventure for him and his entourage to slay giant scorpions and encounter a trio of one-eyed witches who claim they can see the future.

Still, there is a lot I liked about the film, in particular, Neeson’s and Fiennes’ performances as the Gods, both of whom sport long beards. Instead of togas, Neeson’s Zeus dons metallic armor resembling a knight while Fiennes talks in such a gruff, parched voice as Hades that half the time I could not tell if it was really him speaking. My guess is there is no water in Hell though I’d venture to say that’s not the real reason why he wants to unleash mayhem on the world.

I also admit though I am not much of a religious person these days, I did find it clever how Clash of the Titans’ storyline boasts a unique end of the world premise from a Christian standpoint. You have Zeus, for example, ticked off at how the mortals no longer honor him and are instead exhibiting hatred and immorality that Hades feeds on. With all the wickedness going on today, by comparison, I have to wonder if God isn’t sitting up in Heaven losing patience with mankind and waiting for the Anti-Christ to finally make his presence known to the world so the Almighty can begin what’s foretold in the Book of Revelation.

I find the two ways a fantasy movie like this can work is one if the actors look as though they are enjoying themselves regardless how outlandish the storyline is. Two, if they can get through uttering ridiculous dialogue and make what they are saying sound convincing. Worthington, Neeson, and Fiennes all succeed.

It works here, just as it worked in the original Star Wars trilogy, despite Harrison Ford’s complaints to George Lucas back then saying just because the director can write the dialogue doesn’t mean saying the lines comes easy for the cast members.

Neeson is no stranger to uttering dialogue in previous movies he’s done that I am sure when he reads the scripts, he asks himself how could he say this on screen. I recall the scene back in Star Wars – Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999) where his Jedi Knight character explains to young Anakin Skywalker about how people in that “galaxy far, far away” are born with “Midichlorians.” I know full well that scene had Star Wars fans either asking where did this gibberish came from especially since the word or idea was never mentioned in the previous movies.

Fans might have died laughing but I was convinced there was such a thing thanks to Neeson’s way of delivering the lines. Now compare that scene with the one in the Clash of the Titans trailer where we see Neeson’s Zeus utter the line, “Release the Kraken!”

Like the word, “Midichlorians”, up until I saw Clash of the Titans, I had no idea what a “Kraken” was except to assume that when Zeus gives the order, whatever a “Kraken” is can’t be good news for anyone.

NOTE: I did not see Clash of the Titans in 3D as I refuse to wear those black glasses for more than two minutes. I have, however, noticed watching movies made for 3D like last year’s animated Battle for Terra, Disney’s A Christmas Carol, and Avatar in 2D, certain images come at you as though the shots were meant for 3D. I did not see that at all watching Clash of the Titans in 2D, and if there were any, I missed them.

©4/2/10

Nothing surprising about Hollywood couple’s marital infidelities except when it happens to someone like Sandra Bullock

If you go to CNN, people.com, or any entertainment news outlet on the Internet reporting about Best Actress Oscar winner Sandra Bullock's marital troubles, there's a good chance you will see more than a dozen posted comments. Some span over 20 pages.

A lot of the comments written, not surprisingly, offer support for Bullock. As for her bad boy, motorcycle riding, cheating husband Jesse James, who had an 11-month affair with Michelle "Bombshell" McGee, a San Diego tattoo and fetish model, fans offered everything negative, short of suggesting he be castrated.

I can't say James doesn't deserve the backlash.

"There is only one person to blame for this whole situation, and that is me," James said in a statement to the press. "It's because of my poor judgment that I deserve everything bad that is coming my way."

I have gotten to the point I no longer care, much less be shocked, when the tabloids report the latest gossip that another Hollywood star's marriage is in trouble, whether it's the result of infidelity or a severe case of irreconcilable differences.

Putting marriage and Hollywood together is like combining gasoline with alcohol and consuming it. It adds up to a deadly, if not combustible combination. Marriage in Hollywood has always been taboo. Despite the blockbuster movies and television shows "a star" churns out, you are a nobody in Hollywood unless you've been married and divorced at least once. I'm convinced of that.

People have gotten so transfixed by the Hollywood elite that they can probably name a dozen actors, actresses and directors who've filed for the ever popular "d" word. Yet if you asked them what celebrities have managed to stay together "til death do us part," I'd be surprised if they can name even one. I can name maybe 10; but a few of those people are dead, so I am not sure they count.

Hence the reason I was not the least bit surprised after hearing actress Kate Winslet and director Sam Mendes were separating after seven years of marriage. The entertainment media didn't seem too phased by it either.

Then came the news that Sandra Bullock's fairy tale marriage was in trouble and suddenly, everyone's rallying behind the cheated starlet. It's almost as if people were debating the nation's health care issue posting comments online. The entertainment media started asking if a curse comes with winning the best actress Oscar, citing examples of other best actress academy award winners as Halle Berry, Helen Hunt, Julia Roberts, Hillary Swank and Charlize Theron, all stars who divorced their significant other years later.

So why all of a sudden do fans care? Is it because women who've been cheated on by their husbands can identify the pain of betrayal Bullock is feeling? Do some men identify with James in that they have a hard time staying faithful and often think with what's between their legs rather than with their brain?

Perhaps it has to do with the huge lack of bad press, if any, Bullock has received from the tabloids over the years. The worst press she has ever gotten was what the critics have said about some of her movies. Even then, the best actress winner of The Blind Side has showed us she knows how to be a good sport. Bullock graciously accepted her Worst Actress and Worst Screen Couple wins at this year's Razzies for her performance in 2009's All About Steve.

"She's never done a sex tape, there's nothing scandalous, and she plays these sweet roles in movies -- there's nothing negative to say about her," said Cooper Lawrence, a relationship expert and author of "The Cult of Celebrity" who was quoted in a 3/19/10 CNN article by Breeanna Hare.

Then there is how Bullock paid tribute to her husband upon winning the Oscar March 7. Even I thought it was touching. It's seeing that kind of emotional joy play out on network television one moment only to learn days later the relationship is on the skids that gets people talking.

The fact is what goes on behind closed doors is no one's business. I believed that after hearing about former senator John Edwards' affair. I believe that now in the case of Tiger Woods. The same goes for Bullock.

There are far more important things for people to concern their lives with than being consumed by the latest Hollywood tabloid scandal.

Sandra Bullock is not the first, nor will she be the last, celebrity icon to have her name dragged through the mud when word gets out her marriage is on the rocks.

There is nothing surprising about this latest scandal. What is surprising is no one expected to see it happen to Sandra Bullock.

©4/1/10