One last visit to Wisteria Lane before kissing the gals goodbye

 The last time I paid a visit to Wisteria Lane to see what the gorgeous ladies were up to on ABC’s Desperate Housewives was when a young serial killer known as “The Fairview Strangler” was terrorizing the neighborhood. That was during season 6. I have been out of the loop ever since. 

As the countdown to the May series finale approaches I have been paying a weekly visit to Wisteria Lane this season, courtesy of free episodes on Hulu.com, to see the latest soap opera entanglements that Republican cooking perfectionist, not to mention my favorite character, Bree Van De Kamp (Marcia Cross), emotional basket case Susan Meyer (Teri Hatcher), self absorbed unfaithful wife, Gabrielle Solis (Eva Longoria), and Miss “I am always right” - stay-at-home mom, Lynette Scavo (Felicity Huffman) have gotten themselves into. 

When I started watching Desperate Housewives upon its debut in Fall 2004, I saw the series as the “I am Woman! Hear Me Roar Hour!” As a guy, I took personal offense at how Bree, Gabby, Lynette and Susan were seen as the pure white angels who can do no wrong despite their engaging in extramarital affairs and in some cases, even murder and cover-ups while practically all the male characters were depicted as jealous jerks lacking any moral decency. As if the ladies should talk. 

When the women’s husbands or boyfriends played by Ricardo Chavira, Steven Culp, James Denton and Doug Savant weren’t trying to either run from their criminal pasts or visiting the neighborhood dominatrix for a weekly spanking session the guy can’t get from the wife at home, or have their wandering eyes on the sexy young nanny, most of their kids either rebelled against their parents or had trouble coming to grips with their homosexuality. Every Sunday night the score was Women: 5 (when you count neighborhood sex-siren Edie Britt (Nicollete Sheridan) who got killed off in 2009) and for the Men: a big fat ZERO. 

When CBS President Leslie Moonves commented about how the show back then beat out CBS’ Survivor in the April 2005 issue of Playboy, Moonves didn’t just say it was because Desperate Housewives is a good show. 

“I know a lot of guys who watch the program – it has beautiful, sexy women,” Moonves was quoted saying. 

Ironically it’s not the four actresses, as attractive as they are, or the sleazy storylines chock filled with unexpected twists and turns that was the reason I got hooked on the show. What I liked most about Desperate Housewives was how it presented a picture of community companionship where everyone knew everyone else on Wisteria Lane. 

The last time I witnessed such camaraderie was back when I was a kid living on Newberry back in La Grange Park, Illinois during the early 80s. Because my sister and I hung out with the kids from three other residences two or three houses down, my parents got to know their parents. As a result it was not unusual to see my mom or someone else’s mother drop by to chat while the fathers sometimes went golfing and played tennis together. 

That’s what Desperate Housewives never lost sight of. This season in particular, for example, I took note during the Halloween episode how everyone on Wisteria Lane dressed up in costumes and took their kids trick or treating. I can’t remember when the last time was where I saw kids with their parents walk down my street on Halloween knocking on doors for candy. Today, the kids wear their costumes to school where they get all their goodies to bring home simply because it’s safer. 

Sure, I may acknowledge the occasional dog-walker when they wave at me on my block or I may wave at the person next door as I head to my car today, if they wave back that is, but other than that I have no idea who any of my neighbors are. 

So as viewers bid farewell, I would like to take this moment to raise a glass of expensive wine and offer a toast to the four women of Wisteria Lane. 

Me, being on a tight budget however and I am not a wine connoisseur and considering that Bree Van De Kamp could stand to cut down on the alcoholic beverages this final season (Hey I am only looking for you, Bree!), I’ll just do what the ladies have been doing on all those sexy commercials the past eight years and take a bite from a big juicy red apple. Those are, after all, healthier. 

So thank you Bree, Gabby, Lynette, Susan and last but not least, you too Mary Alice Young (Brenda Strong) for your brief Rod Serling-Twilight Zone-esque commentaries at the beginning and end of every episode from beyond the grave for taking me on a weekly entertaining, gossip mongering hour long stroll down memory lane, excuse me, “Wisteria Lane” these past few years. You gals briefly reminded me of the kind of street and neighborhood I once lived on minus all the soap opera drama and occasional run-ins with devious former residents harboring personal vendettas. 

Your weekly adventures made me wonder if we all should take a moment to get to know who our neighbors are, or maybe not. 

“It’s the usual question isn’t it,” to quote Bree Van De Kamp. “How much do we really want to know about our neighbors?”  

©1/28/12

No such thing as the perfect candidate

“When are you going to learn that in presidential elections there is no such thing as the perfect candidate?”

That was the response I sent a friend of mine after an email he sent me about the ABC Nightline interview that aired Jan. 19 with Newt Gingrich’s ex-wife Marianne where it was revealed the presidential candidate had asked her for an open marriage while he was having an affair with his current wife, Calista.

I did not watch the Nightline interview as I saw it as nothing more than tabloid trash. It’s not Gingrich’s “open marriage” proposal that I find appallingly sad that South Carolina voters thought the best candidate to beat President Obama this November happens to be someone with questionable moral character (whether Newt Gingrich is now a changed person or not). What I find more troubling is the fact Gingrich was brought up on ethics violations during his term as Speaker of the House back in 1997 and eventually resigned. That alone to me raises red flags.

“We all know the record,” said New Jersey Governor Chris Christie on Meet the Press who endorses Republican front runner Mitt Romney. "He was run out of the speakership by his own party. He was fined $300,000 for ethics violations. This is a guy who has had a very difficult political career at times and has been an embarrassment to the party ... I don't need to regale the country with that entire list again except to say this: I'm not saying he will do it again in the future, but sometimes past is prologue."

Unfortunately, as much as I am loathe to admit it, Newt Gingrich made a few good points Thursday night when he went on a tirade against CNN moderator John King when he asked the candidate if he would like to comment on the “open marriage” issue.

“I think the destructive, vicious, negative nature of much of the news media makes it harder to govern this country, harder to attract decent people to run for public office. And I am appalled that you would begin a presidential debate on a topic like that," Gingrich said. "Every person in here knows personal pain. Every person in here has had someone close to them go through painful things. To take an ex-wife and make it --two days before the primary -- a significant question in a presidential campaign is as close to despicable as anything I can imagine.”

Considering I have no love for the liberally biased “drive-by” news media in how they go after conservatives with a vengeance every time someone is involved is some scandal and do their damnedest to bury any negative stories about Democrats I felt like joining the South Carolina voters as they cheered.

"The story is false,” Gingrich went on. “Every personal friend I have who knew us in that period says the story was false. We offered several of them to ABC to prove it was false. They weren't interested, because they would like to attack any Republican. They're attacking the governor, they're attacking me. I'm sure they'll probably get around to Senator Santorum and Congressman Paul. I am tired of the elite media protecting Barack Obama by attacking Republicans."

That’s what South Carolina voters were fed up with when Gingrich spoke and that’s the only reason why he won.  This election is no longer about how many skeletons a candidate has in his closet. I don’t believe that has ever been the case. There is not a single president this country has elected who has not exhibited some sort of questionable moral flaw that upon finding out the supposed truth might have made one wonder why they voted for them in the first place.

This presidential election is going about whether or not that person will be able to beat President Obama this November and bring about a different kind of change versus the so-called positive change this country has witnessed since 2008.

Would I much rather see someone better than Gingrich come out on top at this point? Most definitely.

I have no idea who I am going to vote for at this point. I probably won’t even make a decision until Election Day this November. I will say this. As much as it pains me to say it, whoever it is I vote for my decision will be based on who I think can do the job as leader of the country and not so much on their negative past, despite my wish that there was someone out there who has some moral character to be president.

©1/25/12

Hard to accept North Koreans’ mourning of their “Dear Leader” as genuine

“They’re grieving like they knew the man.” 

Such was the line uttered by disgruntled and supposed conspirator ex-FBI agent Guy Banister (Ed Asner) in Oliver Stone’s JFK (1991) as he expressed disgust watching Americans grieve at the news that President John F. Kennedy had been assassinated Nov. 22, 1963. 

That was also the first thought which came to my mind as I watched images of North Korea’s citizens mourn the loss of their President Kim Jong-il when he passed away from a heart attack Dec. 17, 2011 last month as a result of “physical and mental over-work” according to the country’s tearful news announcer. 

I fought hard to keep from making any jokes. 

“My leader, what will we do,” uttered one citizen. “It’s too much! It’s too much!” 

“Leader, please come back. You cannot leave us. We will always wait for you, leader,” cried another. 

Instead of making jokes, however, I let others do it for me like a couple of conservative talk show hosts sitting in for Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity the last two weeks of December who said the North Koreans mourning should be the rallying cry for the Occupy Wall Street protesters here in the U.S. as they complain about how everyone else in America has a job and money to spend but they don’t. 

Over at Mad magazine’s website, The Idiotical, was a picture of the mourners boasting the headline, “Why is this North Korean really crying?” with mocking quotes from the grieving crowds. Among the answers given was “Just found out that Col. Potter from M.A.S.H. died” and “She took Green Bay and the points.” 

Watching such scenes of uncontrollable wailing the first question that came to mind was who amongst North Korea’s dictatorship had a close eye on everyone making sure their mourning was not actually acting. I figure there must have been someone behind those cameras holding a sign that said, “Cry or die.” The worst that could possibly happen is risk being sent to a labor-training camp, which is exactly what the North Korean government is reportedly doing to those who either didn’t participate during the country’s mourning period or “did participate but didn’t cry or didn’t seem genuine” according to a 1/13/12 article on www.huffingtonpost.com. 

Like so many other “colorful” dictators of toppled regimes past from Adolf Hitler to Saddam Hussein, Kim Jong-il was no stranger to being the subject of mockery thanks to his eccentricities and rightly so. South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone made the North Korean dictator the primary villain in the wooden puppet – equal opportunity offender comedy, Team America: World Police (2004). One scene has Kim Jong-il walking throughout his immense palace singing, “I’m so ronery…so ronery…so ronery and sadry arone” which translates to “I’m so lonely…so lonely…so lonely and sadly alone.” 

Like former Libyan dictator Col. Moammar Gadhafi, all one has to do is type in “Kim Jong-il trivia” under any Internet search engine to see thousands of humorous articles that show the “Dear Leader” clearly enjoyed the finer things in life while his people suffered that included the best wines, cigars and what might as well have been called his own private Blockbuster Video store owning a library of 20,000 movies. Among his favorites? Friday the 13th (1980) and anything featuring Elizabeth Taylor according to a 12/19/11 cbsnews.com article. 

There is even a website called kimjongillookingatthings at tumblr.com that shows the dictator, to put it very simply, “looking at things.” The list is endless from him looking at an escalator and apartments to sewing machines. 

Like dear old dad, the Dear Leader’s son and successor, Supreme Commander Kim Jong-un is already the target of Hollywood mockery. In NBC’s 30 Rock last season, Elizabeth Banks’ journalist character Avery Jessup and wife of TV executive Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin) was kidnapped while on assignment in North Korea and forced to marry Kim Jong-un. 

In all seriousness, however, and I cannot speak for anyone else, my feelings for the people of North Korea is that of pity in how completely isolated they are to the outside world thanks to Kim Jong-il’s leadership, or lack thereof, which will likely continue now under the oppressive rule of Kim Jong-un. All one has to do is look at the satellite photographs where at night thousands of lights can be seen from space in South Korea. Over in North Korea, however, the only light seen is just a speck coming from the capital of Pyongyang, if that. 

While the North Koreans, whether they truly loved their “Dear Leader” or mourned out of fear of the government, we people in the real world know that Kim Jong-il was no saint. In addition to North Korea’s nuclear capabilities, the country’s population is ravaged by starvation and malnourishment while an estimated 200,000 currently reside in concentration camps according to The Committee for Human Rights in North Korea. 

It is no wonder that when the “Dear Leader” passed away last month, the country’s neighbor and still current enemy, South Korea, offered their condolences to the people of North Korea and not so much for Kim Jong-il even as they hope the transition of leadership can usher in a “new era” of peace.  

©1/14/12

Reasons are many why, I and others, may not be going to the movies as much, if at all

“We make a lot of shitty movies. Every one of them breaks my heart.”

Such are the words spoken by Universal Studios President, Ron Meyer, in a November article on www.huffingtonpost.com, who admitted his studio makes a lot of awful movies.

I cannot help but be forced to agree. 

I saw over 40 films at the box office in 2011 and though I liked a majority of them, I cannot justify seeing them again on Blu-ray or on cable movie stations months from now. I blame my increasingly negative attitude about the amount of crap being released on unnecessary remakes, 3D releases and re-releases (No you will not find me at the local IMAX theaters come February and April wearing the dark sunglasses to watch Star Wars – Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999) and Titanic (1997) in 3D), and comic book franchise movies and comic book reboots. 

That may not be the only reason why box office attendance in 2011 hit a 16-year low according to an Associated Press article.

“There’s so many different ways to get content to the audience,” said Paul Dergarabedian, president of the box office division of Hollywood.com in an ABC news article. “They’re (audiences) pulled in a million different directions. That makes it a very competitive environment. The films have to be that much better otherwise audiences are going to do something else.”

Over the two-week holiday break I had in December I only saw two films, My Week With Marilyn and Mission: Impossible -Ghost Protocol. There were a lot of others I wanted to see but my reason for avoiding the theaters unless I was able to make the before noon showings was because I HATE crowds, especially during the holiday season. 

When I see movies I like my space and cannot stand it when someone feels compelled to sit near or right next to me when they got the entire theater to decide where to sit. Honestly the best time I had at the movies in 2011 was when I attended a 1 p.m IMAX showing of Real Steel in October. I loved it and I am not just talking about the film. I had the entire theater all to myself!

Then there are the inconsiderate a--holes who bring their one-year-old baby to the theater because they are stressed out parents and want to get away so what better way to tick me or anyone else off than to make us miserable all at once and bring the crying kid along! Oh how I just can’t get enough of the sounds of all those candy wrappers being torn open! I’d much rather hear the sounds of text messaging (honestly can you really hear that in silent mode?) and ringing cell phones. And no I am not going to tell you what theaters I frequent along with the days I go and exact show times so you jerks (you know who you are) can attend the same ones I go to in hopes of irritating me more. 

The lack of originality and mass crowds are not the only reasons I have been hesitant to see movies. As Dergarabedian said, people can see movies now through several means thanks to the Internet that it might be cheaper to wait for them to hit video-on-demand three months after their theatrical run and watch them in the privacy of one’s own home where the only living bothersome thing to me is the dog. 

At the same time, I have found some independent movies I really wanted to see were only released at one or two theaters for a week or so where I either didn’t have the time or feel like making the drive and just hoped they would expand to others within a few weeks. I found that did not happen in the cases of Another Earth, Margin Call, Melancholia, Monsters, Taking Shelter – which I am not even sure ever made it to the Dallas area and The Tree of Life. If there is any reason why The Artist will probably get a wider release in the coming weeks is because it is a likely contender for the 2012 Oscars.

Yet with all my griping, I still have some high hopes 2012 might be a better year at the box office than 2011 with films like The Dictator, Gravity, Prometheus, The Raven, Rock of Ages, Snow White and the Huntsman, The Three Stooges and The Woman in Black among them.

Notice I haven’t mentioned ANY remakes, sequels, 3D or comic book franchise movies and comic book reboots on this list that I know everyone else will be packing into theaters to see. I have no doubt “Hollyweird” studios will claim this is the reason why the 2012 box office attendance will either be worse or the same as last year’s, if that. 

©1/4/12

Ringing in the new year is as pointless as the time wasted making resolutions

If there is ever a holiday I don’t believe in celebrating, it’s New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. I find it equivalent to celebrating one’s birthday except I see nothing positive about it since both days mean you are now a year older and in some cases, deeper in debt.

Not only do I not know the lyrics to “Auld Lang Syne” but I have never actually seen anyone band together to sing it seconds after the clock strikes midnight. I have only seen it happen in disaster movies like The Poseidon Adventure (1972) moments before the little boat in a bathtub was capsized by an immense tidal wave. And when Frank Sinatra and his rat pack buddies raided the safes of several Las Vegas casinos in the original Ocean’s 11 (1960).

When you get right down to it, New Years Eve is nothing more than a petty excuse to go out and get plastered drunk with your friends or family. It’s a chance to watch whoever it is who now hosts the celebrations from New York’s Times Square as the lighted ball comes down at the stroke of midnight. 

Perhaps if you are really drunk as a result of the night’s festivities, you might not remember the moment it became Jan. 1. Perhaps you are so inebriated that you ended up kissing a complete stranger and maybe even found yourself in bed with him, her or their pet the next morning.

Or maybe you forgot that list of New Year’s Resolutions already you made just hours earlier.

Yes resolutions – the kinds of goals you set only to break one or all your promises within the baby new year’s first few hours, if not days, weeks, or maybe months before that little infant grows up to be a grouchy old man. 

Or do I have to bring up all those fitness commercials from Ballys and 24 Hour Fitness that you see airing the month of December that urge one to start the new year off by creating the new you?

I can’t tell you how many years, and for all I know I have probably been hearing it since birth, how many times I have heard the statements, “You should make “that” your number one new year’s resolution” and “Have you come up with any resolutions you’d like to focus on for the new year?”

Perhaps the question which should be asked is how many of you as December comes to a close sit down to take less than 30 seconds, (all right a minute) to come up with ten goals or less that you’d like to accomplish in the coming year?  Don’t tell me you actually take such a trivial tradition seriously. I don’t. I don’t think I have ever wasted more than five minutes of my time taking a pointless stroll down memory lane the last week of the year to see what improvements I can make in my life.

Why should I take such a holiday seriously or resolutions for that matter? No one else does. According to a 1/3/11 article on time.com some of the top 10 commonly broken New Year’s resolutions which I have failed to follow on a yearly basis include lose weight and get fit, eat healthier and diet, get out of debt and save money, spend more time with family, and be less stressed.

There is only one reason why we celebrate the new year and no I don’t have time (nor the space here) to giving a history lesson about where New Year's Eve celebrations came from and the different traditions other countries have. You’ll have to do that on your own.

The only reason why we celebrate New Years Eve every 12 months is because that’s how long it takes for the earth to go around the sun. If we lived on Mercury, a typical year would be 88 days according to the website, www.stardate.com. Imagine that! Less than three months, the world gets to party “like it’s 1999” as Prince spoke of in his rock song. If it turns out he or she didn’t keep up with their resolutions of less than three months ago, they can just save the list and try again the next three months. And we wouldn’t have to worry about any cold weather.

What if we lived on Saturn, however, where the time it takes for the ringed planet to go around the sun is 29.5 earth years or in this case 360 months? That’s a long time to wait for New Year’s Eve to come along but if there is any consolation, that’s more than enough time for one to complete his or her resolutions thirty times over. People will have waited to party for so long that they’ll probably want to rest the next 30 years and not worry about making a list of goals. Perhaps the entire world will just take one big long holiday that lasts the next 29.5 earth years.

I have never accomplished a single New Year's Resolution I have made over the years. Perhaps I’ll start now. The best goals to set are the ones you know you can keep so my one resolution for 2012 which I plan to keep the rest of my life, along with my refusal to celebrate Dec. 31 is I AM NOT MAKING ANY!

Happy New Year!

©1/1/12

2011 Mini Film Reviews

My Week With Marilyn: “People always see Marilyn Monroe. As soon as they realize I’m not her, they run.” So says the Hollywood starlet in My Week With Marilyn, which is one among the few behind the scenes revelations about the actress’ personal doubts she had about herself, in particular while working on the set of The Prince and the Showgirl (1957). My Week With Marilyn chronicles that time when Monroe (Michelle Williams - who is certain to get an Oscar nomination) developed a brief friendship with assistant director Colin Clark (Eddie Redmayne). What’s surprising is it turns out Marilyn Monroe is not the only star in the film to have doubts about herself. There is a moment, for example, when Sir Laurence Olivier (Kenneth Branagh) says the reason he wanted to work with Monroe on the film was so he might be able to feel young again. Then there is actress Vivien Leigh (Julia Ormand) who while watching Monroe’s outtakes realizes how she will never be that beautiful again. I’ll need to see The Prince and the Showgirl one of these days. If it turns out I don’t care for it, the least I can do is take into account what Marilyn Monroe supposedly told the cast and crew the day shooting ended in My Week With Marilyn. “I’d like you to remember I tried.” R, 99m. Reviewed 12/26/11. «««½

New Year’s Eve: Director Garry Marshall’s all-star holiday who’s who celebratory follow-up to that other star-studded spectacle of his, Valentine’s Day (2010), reeks of so many predictable situations and character clichés that for much of the first hour my only interest was getting the behind the scenes look at the work Claire Morgan (Hillary Swank) must do to make sure the night’s festivities at Times Square go as planned, which includes making damn sure that lighted ball drops at midnight or else it’s her ass. Screenwriter Katherine Fugate must have had a field day penning the screenplay doing her damndest to give over a dozen stars (Halle Berry, Robert De Niro, Ashton Kutcher, Jon Bon Jovi, Sarah Jessica Parker, Michelle Pfeiffer to name a few) an equal amount of screen time to fill out a two-hour time limit. I’d love to read it one day just to see how each scene, especially in the first half hour, was written where every character or two are introduced in several different subplots. If New Year’s Eve, the movie, really wanted to be any less predictable, the filmmakers would have had the lighted ball not come down at midnight. Now that would have been something to watch if such a catastrophe were to happen. I suspect heads would roll the next morning. The media would have a field day and I can imagine how upset New Yorkers, if not the whole country, would be if the ball didn’t come down. PG-13, 117m. Reviewed 12/14/11. ««½

Hugo: Director Martin Scorsese clearly loves to make movies and I don’t think I would be too far off in my assumption if this fantasy drama about a young boy (Asa Butterfield) and a toy store owner, who was once an aspiring filmmaker were close to his heart. Movies have always been about creating magic especially when it comes to visual effects. Hugo is, in a way, a tribute to real life magician Georges Méliès' (as played by Ben Kingsley in the film) who became interested in filmmaking after seeing a camera project a moving picture he saw while attending a fair. Hard to believe he directed over 500 plus short films according to imdb.com. The film shows that it’s never too late for someone to return to what they enjoyed doing early on in life. PG, 125m. Reviewed 12/12/11. «««½

The Muppets: The most endearing, if not, nostalgic moment in The Muppets happens early on when Muppet Walter, a life long fan of the Muppets sees an autographed picture of his idol, Kermit the Frog, posing with his creator Jim Henson. I admit that kind of brought a tear to my eye given Henson’s untimely death at 53 in 1990. Like Walter, who grew up watching The Muppet Show (1976-1981), I admit I was a fan back then watching the comedy series every Saturday night. This latest follow-up of Muppet movies attempts to capture that magic. The plot this time has Muppet Walter and his brother, Gary (Jason Segel) and girlfriend, Mary (Amy Adams) joining forces with Kermit and the gang to put on a one day Muppet-a-thon to save their theater from being torn down by oil tycoon, Tex Richman (Chris Cooper). Just like in previous films, the Muppets and human characters all burst into song every now and then. The Muppets is not as memorable as The Muppet Movie (1979) which I actually own on DVD but haven’t seen since it came out and the songs aren’t as good as the soundtrack from that film. Yet I still found it hard to not be a little won over by Kermit and the gang. By the time the credits ended I kind of wanted to burst into song myself singing, “Mahna Mahna.” PG, 103m. Reviewed 11/28/11. ««« 

Immortals: Near the end of Immortals is a scene where Theseus’ son looks in awe at the statues of various warriors in battle that seem to tell a story much like those marble stone pictures one might see at church that reveal scenes from Jesus’ crucifixion. The scene reminded me of the time I was in awe hearing my sixth grade teacher tell us the stories of those Greek tragedies and wars. I was more interested in hearing my teacher tell us those stories than I was watching this 110 minute computer generated visual effect filled with immense tidal waves and lots of severed limbs, severed heads which are sometimes split open and enough blood spilled one can build their own pool to swim in. To make sure the audience doesn’t miss a single shot of a Greek warrior going down in battle, a lot of the graphic scenes are captured in slow motion. The Immortals' best moments are not the tiresome CGI, however. Those honors go to Mickey Rourke as Crete’s King Hyperion who declares war on the gods of Olympus for failing to save his family from illness and Henry Cavill as good guy warrior, Theseus. Cavill, who has been cast as the Man of Steel in the Superman reboot, due out in Summer 2013, provides a glimpse that maybe his acting career will not be destined for typecasting once that superhero movie comes out. R, 110m. Reviewed 11/18/11. ««½ 

J. Edgar: I finally understand why moviegoers didn’t care for Chaplin (1992), the biography of the famous silent comedian as played by Robert Downey Jr. In between all those scenes showing the famous actor in front of the camera in various comedic roles, were stories surrounding his private life with women that were often times fodder for the tabloids. I felt the same way about director Clint Eastwood’s biography of FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover as played by Leonardo DiCaprio. Like Chaplin, J. Edgar is told through flashbacks as the FBI director at the height of his power summons a different agent to his office to have them document his past triumphs as a crime fighter and a keeper of dirty secrets on every president he served under that, no doubt, helped keep him in office. Not surprisingly, the film provides a scandalous glimpse into the director’s private life exploring his supposed homosexual relationship with his most trusted aide, Clyde Tolson (Armie Hammer), and the relationships with his personal secretary, Helen Gandy (Naomi Watts) who may have been his first real love interest, and his mother (Judi Dench) who he reportedly lived with until her death. By film’s end I found I still didn’t know enough about J. Edgar Hoover to feel like I actually knew him, or certainly not enough to feel sorry for his supposed shortcomings as both the bureau’s director and closeted homosexual. There is no doubt that if Oliver Stone had taken on this project the film would have been ripe with controversy before the cameras rolled but I predict it certainly would not have been boring. I don’t think 137 minutes is enough to cover Hoover’s life. I suspect I will learn more reading Curt Gentry’s 2001 book, J. Edgar Hoover: The Man and the Secrets than I will from Eastwood’s latest which is a major disappointment coming from the Oscar winning director. R, 137m. Reviewed 11/16/11.  ««

Anonymous: I find director Roland Emmerich is at his best only when he is busy delivering big budget disaster/sci-fi movies like Independence Day (1996) and 2012 (2010) than he is making dramatic epics like Anonymous. That’s not to say his latest film doesn’t have an interesting premise exploring the notion the plays students study today in English literature classes were not actually written by William Shakespeare but by someone else in the late 1500s. This would make a great story if the premise were actually true. Trouble is this kind of elaborate conspiracy theory has only been explored in paranormal-type magazines like Fortean Times which makes the film even less believable. Great costumes and set designs though. PG-13, 130m. Reviewed 11/14/11. ««

The Rum Diary: Hunter S. Thompson’s early days as a journalist trying to find himself working for a newspaper in Puerto Rico are explored in this supposed autobiographical film featuring Johnny Depp as writer Paul Kemp. When he isn’t busy downing shots of Rum and experimenting in hallucinogenic drugs with the newspaper’s photographer (Michael Rispoli), Kemp is busy working on a story about the shady deals by a wealthy real estate developer (Aaron Eckhart) while at the same time smitten with the guy’s mistress (Amber Heard). Given the film takes place before Kemp went after the “bastards” in his later articles over the years uncovering various scandals when he established himself as a known writer, what takes place here is not as interesting as the stuff he’d churn out in later decades. The Rum Diary feels more like the calm before the storm. R, 120m. Reviewed 10/31/11. ««½

Courageous: Every time I hear about some independent Christian drama being released I cringe as it dredges up bad memories I had sitting through such laughable end of the world religious films that appealed to Christian audiences like The Omega Code (1999) and Left Behind (2001). On the surface, Courageous features predictable characters and situations one might find in a weekly one-hour television drama seeing since it is about four Georgia police officers. What makes it work is the way the film explores the character’s relationships with God and how they attempt to apply that to their every day lives, some more so than others. I admit some of it is a little overdramatic especially near the end with its bible preaching but the film never loses sight of its message, which is that things are not as bad as they might seem so long as you never lose your faith in the Almighty. Courageous is the third film I saw this year where the focus was from a Christian standpoint. The previous films were Soul Surfer about a female professional surfer who makes a comeback following a shark attack. The other was the terrorist themed Source Code where the message was don’t let the petty things bother you so much as life is too short. Movies like these along with Courageous thankfully make me forget such laugh riots as The Omega Code and Left Behind were ever made. PG-13, 129m. Reviewed 10/26/11. «««½

Paranormal Activity 3: If Paranormal Activity 3 had come out before the first Paranormal Activity (2007) I might have been more open to embracing the film’s many predictable “boo moments” where the invisible leg pulling/hair pulling demon haunts a couple and their two daughters in this prequel to the previous two movies. Trouble is I have seen this all before and it’s no longer scary. The novelty, if not shock value is lost. Like the Saw franchise, I fear the Paranormal Activity films are now going to be a Halloween tradition for distributor Paramount Pictures to make every October in hopes that audiences come out in droves provided they don’t tire of the same formula every time. Ironically Paranormal Activity 3’s best scenes are in the trailer which don’t appear in the film at all thus proving that these movies are now nothing more than mass marketed products designed to rake in millions at the box office before heading to video disc three months later as unrated extended versions. R, 84m. Reviewed 10/21/11. «½

Real Steel: Imagine the number of lives that could be saved if giant behemoth remote controlled robots replaced humans in the boxing ring. Such a thing would only happen in the movies which is the case with Real Steel about a former down-on-his-luck boxer (Hugh Jackman), who along with his son (Dakota Goyo), train a robot found in a junkyard to become the latest boxing contender. To me the film’s focus is not on the robots, which is all visual effects eye candy, but on the relationship the father tries to rebuild with his son in the process. I am more for cheering on the humans than seeing a couple of remote controlled giants duke it out in the ring. PG-13, 127m. Reviewed 10/19/11. «««

Footloose: I might have embraced this unnecessary remake if I hadn’t seen the 1984 original with Kevin Bacon which I own on Blu-ray. Not much is changed in this update except dance hero Ren McCormack (Kenny Wormald) is now on his own who moves to the country town of Bomont, Georgia to live with his uncle following his mother’s death. Just like in the original the southern town bans rock music by order of strict preacher Shaw Moore (Dennis Quaid) whose rebellious daughter (Julianne Hough) develops a liking to Ren. If you have seen the original, then you already know how this version plays out in the end where Ren eventually convinces the preacher to allow the senior high school class to have their prom held outside of town. I’ll stick to the original over this update, which feels like I am watching a clone. PG-13, 113m. Reviewed 10/17/11. ««½

The Thing: The filmmakers behind The Thing say this is a prequel to director John Carpenter’s 1982 version, which was in itself a remake of The Thing from Another World (1951) about an alien who is found in the Antarctic by researchers. Watching this horror/sci-fi version, however, the film looks more like a remake of the Carpenter predecessor. If there is any difference between the two it is that the hero, or perhaps I should say, heroine behind the Norwegian research team who unearths “The Thing” is now a woman (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) instead of a man. What follows is the usual who’s who as the researchers figure out who has been taken over by “The Thing” where the only way of knowing for sure is when one of them goes into violent convulsions and starts sprouting multiple spider-like legs emanating from their chests and faces. By then it’s too late. The horrific visual effects are nothing more than an attempt to see if this version can outdo Carpenter’s. Carpenter’s version at least had me wondering in the end which of the final two survivors was the alien before hearing composer Ennio Morricone’s haunting musical score in the background, which to this day I still don’t know who is/was “The Thing.” R, 103m. Reviewed 10/17/11. ««

The Ides of March: Oh the things Democratic presidential candidates will do to win the White House. This political drama based on the 2008 play, Farragut North, has George Clooney playing a promising Democratic governor whose plans to be on the presidential ballot could be thwarted if news involving him and one of his interns is revealed. Ryan Gosling plays Clooney’s campaign manager caught in the middle of all the political mayhem. The film proves if there is any lesson to be learned when running for political office it is that sooner or later, one might end up losing their own soul tossing aside their personal beliefs of what’s right and wrong and what’s moral and immoral in order to get their candidate on the ballot. R, 101m. Reviewed 10/12/11. «««

Moneyball: The story of how the Oakland A’s general manager Billy Beane (Brad Pitt) with the help of an Yale economics graduate Peter Brand (Jonah Hill) recruited ball players for half of what other franchises would offer them proves how one doesn’t necessarily need millions to create a winning team despite coming up short during the 2002 season. The film reminds me of how the Texas Rangers for the past two years made it to the World Series only to lose both times. Despite the losses, the fact they were able to make it there is something to be proud of. PG-13, 133m. Reviewed 10/5/11. «««

Contagion: Director Steven Soderbergh’s end of the world disaster film focuses on the medical community’s attempts to stop a lethal virus before it kills off the entire population. Just hearing the characters talk about how many times humans touch their faces on a daily basis after touching something else is one of the ways to spread germs to others makes me wonder if the real reason why not everyone gets sick has more to do with how strong one’s immune system is. Contagion also made me question if such a fast moving pandemic were on the horizon if I should prepare myself and purchase several firearms and ammunition as once word gets out there aren’t enough vaccines available for everyone, riots will start and that’s when it becomes every man and woman for themselves. PG-13, 106m. Reviewed 10/3/11. «««

Drive: The one word title explains to an extent what this crime thriller is about which centers on a stunt performer (Ryan Gosling) who works as a getaway driver on various robbery jobs. Gosling’s character doesn’t engage much in conversation but you can tell what he might be thinking especially when a neighbor of his named Irene (Carey Mulligan) and her young son are in trouble when her husband is killed in a pawn shop robbery gone bad who happens to be in debt with a local mobster. “The Driver” as Gosling’s character is called decides to take matters into his own hands to protect the mother and son but not without bloody results. Albert Brooks (Broadcast News - 1987) steals the show as a vicious mobster. R, 100m. Reviewed 9/30/11. «««

Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark: The trouble with this horror remake of a 1973 made for TV movie is it plays too much like a TV movie of the week versus a big screen release. Produced by Guillermo del Toro (Pan’s Labyrinth – 2006), the film’s best moments are the opening credits as the eerie music plays in the background and drawings of goblin type faeries supposedly residing in the basement, or to be more precise the furnace of a 19th century mansion, are shown. Guy Pearce plays a divorced father and Katie Holmes is his girlfriend who are the home’s occupants and have a hard time believing Pearce’s daughter (Bailee Madison) that they may not be the only ones in the house until it’s too late. R, 99m. Reviewed 9/14/11. ««

Apollo 18: The sudden box office success of The Blair Witch Project (1999), which boasted the “found-footage” premise along with the falsified yet clever notion the story was actually true, spawned a continuing predictable stream of less than 90 minute “found footage” movies involving exorcisms, paranormal activities and now with Apollo 18, aliens on the moon. Or are they moon spiders? Regardless, the alien species are the reason the top secret Apollo 18 mission was a disaster that claimed the lives of three astronauts in the early 1970s. Here I thought the first space tragedy after that 1967 Apollo fire that killed three astronauts was the 1986 Space Shuttle Challenger disaster. The only thing original about these movies is the premise despite the fact the tragic events never happened. PG-13, 86m. Reviewed 9/6/11. ««½

Rise of the Planet of the Apes: The answer to how Earth became inhabited by talking, walking apes is answered in this prequel to what I assume is the entire Planet of the Apes franchise dating back to 1968 when it all started. James Franco plays a scientist trying to develop a cure for Alzheimer’s by using chimpanzees as the guinea pigs. Turns out the chimps are much smarter than the humans, in particular “Caesar” who as a result of his enhanced intelligence is able to convince the other apes to mutiny against the humans. That’s only the beginning of Earth’s last days. How the entire planet’s population was wiped out is actually revealed in the end credits. PG-13, 105m. Reviewed 8/8/11. «««

Cowboys & Aliens: These alien invasion movies boasting the usual “humans versus them” premise are getting about as predictable as the zombie films George Romero’s Night of the Living Dead (1968) spawned. If I have seen one alien invasion film I have seen them all. If there is anything different about Cowboys & Aliens and every other invasion movie before it is that the setting is now in the old west where several abducted townspeople’s lives are in the hands of an outlaw (Daniel Craig), and wealthy cattleman (Harrison Ford) and a female bar owner (Olivia Wilde) to rescue them from an alien species. If you need a hint on how Cowboys & Aliens ends read the 2006 graphic novel on which the film is based. PG-13, 118m. Reviewed 8/1/11. «« 

Captain America: The First Avenger: The tale of a 100 pound weakling who gets turned into a super soldier known as Captain America (Chris Evans) is the latest film in Marvel Comics vast library to be given the big screen adaptation and most likely, depending on box office results, a long running series of follow-ups. Like Green Lantern, Thor and X-Men: First Class, Captain America: The First Avenger still lacks that epic superhero feel I haven’t seen done since Superman: The Movie (1978) and Christopher Nolan’s Batman films (Batman Begins – 2005, The Dark Knight – 2008). The best thing about the film, however, is like Battle: Los Angeles, Captain America: The First Avenger exhibits a memorable sense of American patriotism – something missing from a lot of today’s movies. If there is one thing I remember most about the film, it is the superhero’s theme song called “Star Spangled Man” that I can’t get out of my head. In a perfect world, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences will list this catchy tune among the nominees for Best Original Song at the 2012 Oscars but I am not holding my breath. “Hollyweird” has never been much on nominating films that endorse American patriotism. PG-13, 124m. Reviewed 7/25/11. «««

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2: My biggest complaint about the Harry Potter films are I found them to be as long as the entire year that wizards Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) and best friends Ron Weasley (Rupert Grint) and Hermione Granger (Emma Watson) spend at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It almost made me question if the 130 minute running time of part 2 of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was good enough given this was going to be the gang’s, and most likely, the franchise’s last hurrah though I am sure studio Warner Brothers will attempt to find a way to continue the future installments. The good news about part 2 is the film doesn’t take forever to get to the final battle between Harry and Lord Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes). Die-hard fans of the books know how the film ends, if not all the things the filmmakers might have left out. For someone like me who has yet to read J.K. Rowling’s popular series, the most positive thing I can say about this final installment is the phrase that was a title from one of William Shakespeare’s plays, “All’s well that ends well.” PG-13, 130m. Reviewed 7/20/11. ««« 

Transformers: Dark of the Moon: Watching the first ten maybe twenty minutes of Transformers: Dark of the Moon made me actually hold out some hope, all be it very briefly, that this third installment in the toy franchise would actually be worth my time. Indeed, Transformers: Dark of the Moon is actually better than Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009). Unlike the second film which I happily awarded NO STARS to two years ago, “Dark of the Moon” is one and a half stars better, regardless of the fact that my bestowing the one and a half star rating means “below average” according to my movie rating system. The film boasts a few humorous moments that I can count on one hand. I laughed, for example, seeing a picture of hero Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) shaking hands with President Obama, which looks a little embarrassing. A couple other memorable moments include villain Sentinel Prime (voiced by Star Trek’s Leonard Nimoy) uttering the famous phrase from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982) “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.” The line is an obvious nod to Nimoy’s Mr. Spock character but I enjoyed the reference regardless and cameo appearances from Bill O’Reilly and former astronaut Buzz Aldrin. As Witwicky’s new lover interest, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, immediately made me forget that Megan Fox was ever in the first two movies (Fox was fired or declined to star in the third film depending on which tabloid story one chooses to believe). Whiteley’s most dramatic moment comes during the climax when she tells Megatron (voiced by Hugo Weaving) that Sentinel Prime is going to eventually make the Decepticon leader his “bitch” once Earth is taken over and Optimus Prime and his do-gooder entourage of Authobots that includes the yellow Chevrolet transforming Bumblebee are defeated. I am not a fan of this toy movie franchise although I did like Transformers (2007) enough to award it the “close but no cigar” rating of two and a half stars. Yet since it’s been four years since I last saw it I don’t remember why I even gave the film a marginal recommendation. I know full well the Transformers movies are critic proof. They are not made for the critics. I am not even sure these movies are for adults, or the parents who take their kids for that matter. These movies are for the kids who love the toys. As expected when the film ended I heard cheers from the audience. Don’t even think they were coming from the adults. PG-13, 157m. Reviewed 7/6/11. «½

Green Lantern: The best moments in Green Lantern are when hot shot test pilot Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds) is given a ring from a dying alien and is sent to another universe to join the Green Lantern Corps. This is an alien world I wished had been explored more in Thor as extra terrestrial beings with bulging foreheads sit atop high towers assessing the evil presence that threatens their existence. While back on Earth, brilliant scientist Hector Hammond (Peter Sarsgaard) gets zapped with some power by the same evil presence while examining the dead alien found by the government thus threatening humanity’s existence. Green Lantern may be another comic book movie where the studio, in this case Warner Brothers, hopes high box office revenue will allow follow-ups to be made but I found it to be a fun popcorn film as well and not quite the dim bulb I actually thought it was going to be. I might even buy that Green Lantern hard cover omnibus graphic novel I have seen sitting on the shelves at the comic book store the past few weeks accumulating dust to read more about this superhero with the green ring who battles evil using his mind conjuring up anything from race cars to sub machine guns, or anything that will avert a major catastrophe. PG-13, 114m. Reviewed 6/20/11. «««

Super 8: Chances are by now people have read of film reviewers citing how director J.J. Abrams' Super 8 pays homage to a few of Steven Spielberg’s movies containing plot and character elements found in E.T. The Extra Terrestrial (1982), The Goonies (1985) and War of the Worlds (2005). The alien creature itself, which a group of young kids stumble upon during a train crash could either be a descendant of or the very same monster that terrorized Manhattan in Cloverfield (2008). Super 8 is original only in the way the title has been promoted since for the past year or so audiences have not been able to quite figure out what the film is about until now. I do have to give J.J. Abrams credit. As a filmmaker, Abrams doesn’t seem to be in the industry just for the sake of making a quick buck. Abrams, much like such filmmakers as Peter Jackson (The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring – 2001), Guillermo del Toro (Pan’s Labyrinth – 2006) and Zack Snyder (Sucker Punch – 2011) and a few others reaffirms my faith that in a time where I have grown incredibly weary of all the needless remakes, 3D marketing and comic book franchise movies, he not only likes to make movies he wants to see but also likes to make films he feels audiences will embrace. PG-13, 112m. Reviewed 6/15/11. «««

X-Men: First Class: The idea of going back to a franchise’s roots telling the stories of how the characters began worked with James Bond in Casino Royale (2006) and Star Trek (2008). Now it’s X-Men’s turn as the comic book franchise gets a reboot (2000-2006) focusing on the friendship and eventual separation between mutants Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) and Erik Lehnsherr (Michael Fassbender) as the world’s superpowers attempt to avert World War III during the 1962 Cuban Missile Crisis. The story of these two characters, not to mention a few others in the film, is what I would have liked to have seen explored in the first three X-Men movies. X-Men: First Class begins with an almost ambitious epic feel before reducing itself to becoming just another enjoyable comic book franchise movie. Fans of the comic book series will be pleased enough by director Matthew Vaughn’s faithfulness to the characters right down to how James McAvoy’s Charles Xavier - a.k.a. Professor X became wheelchair bound for the rest of his life. Just picture the rage in all those X-Men fans' eyes if such a faux pas were committed where the filmmakers overlook a major crucial plot point like that. It would be the equivalent of breaking one of The Ten Commandments. PG-13, 132m. Reviewed 6/6/11. «««

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides: The latest adventure of Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) is the shortest of all the previous Pirates of the Caribbean installments (2003-2007) and yet, to me, sitting through it I felt as though the film ran twice as long. I don’t believe I even have to go much into the plot, which Captain Jack Sparrow summarizes to one character in just one line. “There’ll be dangers along the way…firstly mermaids, zombies, Blackbeard,” he says. I think that’s all one really needs to know here. This would not be a Pirates of the Caribbean movie, or for that matter a Jerry Bruckheimer production, without the usual street chases on horse drawn carriage as Captain Jack evades British soldiers hanging from chandeliers and jumping from the windows of upper floors, swordfights and supernatural encounters to wow viewers. Were it not for these winning Bruckheimer ingredients, the Pirates movies would have never brought in the millions they’ve made so far at the box office since 2003 to justify sequels. Personally, I’d like to think the real reason why they’ve been so successful has to do with Johnny Depp. I may not have necessarily been won over by the previous films but I never equated them as “one-note-performance” movies either. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, however, is unfortunately just that; a one-note-performance movie. This humorless production would be nothing without Johnny Depp. PG-13, 137m. Reviewed 5/25/11. ««

Bridesmaids: Annie (Kristen Wiig) is definitely not in her happy place right now. Her cake baking business went belly up thanks to the recession. She hates her job as a saleswoman at a jewelry store, especially when she has to sell engagement rings to couples planning to marry. Annie’s only real joy in her life right now is spending time with her best friend, Lillian (Maya Rudolph). Annie is thrilled when Lillian tells her she is getting married and wants her to be maid of honor. Things, however, go from bad to worse when Annie attends Lillian’s pre-wedding party. Bad enough that every person Annie talks to at the party there is a complete stranger standing next to her making others think she has a boyfriend. Then she meets Helen (Rose Byrne), a rich perfectionist trophy wife and Lillian’s new best friend responsible for setting up the expensive wedding party and now Annie feels jealous and alone. If any of what I just described to you doesn’t sound funny that’s because despite being promoted as a comedy where all the humorous scenes are compacted into a less than five-minute trailer, Bridesmaids is not a comedy or a drama but a comedy-drama or “dramedy.” If there is any consolation here it is that I liked Bridesmaids more than I did Sex and the City (2008) thanks to Wiig’s character. Annie is the glue keeping this movie together even if she winds up alienating Lillian and most everyone else before film’s end including a potential boyfriend (Chris O’Dowd), a traffic cop who pulls her over one night because her brake lights are out. I don’t see how anyone wouldn’t want to root for Annie. I also wouldn’t mind trying one of her specially made, beautifully frosted cupcakes as well. R, 125m. Reviewed 5/18/11. «««

Thor: Early on in Thor, Odin (Anthony Hopkins) strips his egotistic warrior son (Chris Hemsworth) of his superhero powers and casts him from the kingdom of Asgard, located where I can safely assume is in “a galaxy far, far away”, to Earth to live as a mortal. The story here based on the Marvel comic could be like Crocodile Dundee (1986) where the stranger from another world, as opposed coming from another  country, is having to adjust to life among mortal humans doing his best to keep from getting hit by a van driven by an astrophysicist (Natalie Portman). I liked Thor enough to put it in the same category of other comic book franchise movies I enjoyed that include the Iron Man, Spider-man and X-Men installments. Will I watch Thor again when it's out on Blu-ray before December or video-on-demand? I will probably see it one more time. The film is not, however, going to be enough for me to have playing while I am doing something else just to have something to listen to in later years. Thor, like so many other superhero movies before it, or for that matter, those coming out soon just doesn't have the epic feel I got watching Superman: The Movie (1978) or maybe Batman Begins (2005) . I am still waiting for a comic book movie adaptation to come along with that kind of epic feeling to it. PG-13, 114m. Reviewed 5/9/11. «««

Fast Five: The fifth installment in The Fast and the Furious (2001) franchise would be a bore were it not for the unbelievable stunts, car chases and heists the law breaking heroes played by Vin Diesel, Paul Walker and Jordana Brewster carry out in the streets of Rio de Janeiro. Those stunts, fast cars, good looking women, and skirmishes with the law are the reasons this series continues to do well at the box office (a sixth and supposedly final installment is now in the works). I personally find car chases boring and to this day I still don’t understand all the fuss over the car chase scene in The French Connection (1971). Still, watching Fast Five, I cannot help but eventually crack a smile, much the way federal agent Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) does after figuring out how Diesel and his pals escaped from his pursuit as he looks at an empty safe running the theft through his mind. PG-13, 130m. Reviewed 5/2/11. «««

Water for Elephants: My interest in seeing Water for Elephants comes from a scene where one of the characters is astounded at how an older veterinarian Jacob Jankowski (Hal Holbrook) reveals his memory of an infamous circus tragedy decades ago. Were it not for seeing that one clip thus telling me this is a disaster movie within a love story, I would have likely skipped seeing Water for Elephants. Of course the circus disaster is barely part of the main story as the elder Jankowski recounts his experiences as a young student (played by Robert Pattinson) who joins a traveling circus train following the death of his parents and encounters a domineeringly sadistic circus owner (Christoph Waltz) and his beautiful wife, Marlena (Reese Witherspoon) who he has an affair with. I confess I liked Water for Elephants despite it being clearly a “chick flick.” Then again, I also liked Titanic (1997) and to a certain extent, Pearl Harbor (2001) which were also guy movies disguised as “chick flicks.” If there is any consolation I got from seeing Water for Elephants it is the knowledge that Robert Pattinson is just as capable of doing other roles beside playing a vampire in the Twilight (2008-2012) movies. PG-13, 120m. Reviewed 4/27/11. «««

The Conspirator: Echoes of the aftermath of 9/11 in the way our government went after terrorists using torture interrogations seem to reverberate throughout The Conspirator despite the fact the events took place after President Lincoln’s assassination in April 1865. At one point during the trial of conspirator Mary Surratt (Robin Wright), a congressman (Tom Wilkinson) accuses Lincoln’s Secretary of War Edwin Stanton (Kevin Kline) and President Andrew Johnson’s cabinet of creating paranoia scaring the country into thinking terrorists are among them plotting hits in other cities. Director Robert Redford’s courtroom drama is no more different than the countless others that have been done over the years where the lawyer (in this case here it is Frederick Aiken played by James McAvoy) must try and prove the suspected criminal’s innocence. Of course history tells us otherwise. Redford’s film falls short of being powerful enough to make us angry and sympathize for Mary Surratt thinking she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Still, I cannot help but be amazed at how the aftermath of a national tragedy that occurred over 140 years ago makes me wonder if our government was doing the same thing following 9/11 looking for scapegoats to blame, whether they had anything to do with Al Qaeda or not. PG-13, 122m. Reviewed 4/20/11. «««

Soul Surfer: “How can this be God’s plan for me? I don’t understand,” asks 13 year-old Bethany Hamilton (AnnaSophia Robb) who lost her arm in a shark attack on Halloween 2003. Hamilton, now a professional surfer despite her tragic setback, wrote the 2004 biography, Soul Surfer: A True Story of Faith, Family, and Fighting to Get Back on the Board, on which this film is based. Unlike a couple other independent laughably bad religious movies I have seen over the past ten years which include The Omega Code (1999), Left Behind (2001) and to a certain extent, The Blind Side (2009) which also boasts some Christian values, director and screenwriter Sean McNamara takes an inspirational approach in adapting Hamilton’s life story for the big screen. Like Source Code, which I saw the week before and was surprised by that film’s life affirming message, Soul Surfer’s message is that despite the fact bad things do happen to good people, the one thing to learn from such a traumatic experience is that it can be turned into a positive one. As Hamilton’s counselor says, “I don’t know why terrible things happen to us sometimes but I have to believe something good is going to come out of this.” PG, 106m. Reviewed 4/18/11. «««

Source Code: I had some reservations about seeing Source Code thanks to the plot where decorated soldier Colter Stevens (Jake Gyllenhaal) wakes up in the body of an unknown person and is sent back in time to stop a terrorist bombing in Chicago every eight minutes over the course of the film’s 93 minutes. My reason has to do with the time travel science fiction film, Millenium (1989), where a woman from another dimension is sent back in time at various intervals to stop certain events from happening. Watching Millenium, I felt like I was just viewing the same thing over and over. At least with Source Code, something different happens each time Colter is sent back by the government. Like The Adjustment Bureau whose enjoyable surprise I got was that I found the film to be a love story within a science fiction movie, Source Code offers up a life lesson that so many of us, at least I do, sometimes don’t realize. The message is we should not let the littlest annoyances bother us like getting upset because the train departed late, for example. Life is too short to let such petty things bother us. PG-13, 93m. Reviewed 4/11/11. «««

Insidious: Insidious borrows story elements from other memorable supernatural horror movies like The Shining (1980) (notions of reincarnation) and Poltergeist (1982) (séances) and even the Star Wars movies (1977-2005). The demon wanting possession of a young boy reminded me of Darth Maul from Star Wars – Episode 1: The Phantom Menace (1999) while the scene where a paranormal investigator wears a gas mask during a séance speaking like Darth Vader had me laughing. Those elements almost made me give Insidious, which was made on a budget of over $1 million (box office gross so far of $53 million making it a breakout independent hit of 2011) only a partial recommendation. The more I thought about the film afterwards, however, the more I admired it. The home the married couple (Patrick Wilson and Rose Byrne) reside in really does look as though the place was not built in our world and is not just some big visual effect used to wow audiences with eye candy. Even if Insidious didn’t leave me with any haunting after effects, I did have a hard time trying to get the demon’s favorite song by Tiny Tim, Tiptoe Through the Tulips, out of my head after seeing it. PG-13, 103m. Reviewed 4/4/11. «««

Sucker Punch: Sucker Punch has all the erotic and violent images one would find in a bi-monthly issue of Heavy Metal magazine except instead of being a hardcore adult comic book, the film is more like the PG-13 watered down edited version minus any graphic full frontal nudity and bloodletting (an extended R rated cut will be released on DVD and Blu-ray at the end of the June). Here the institutionalized female characters, led by Baby Doll (Emily Browning), don sexy costumes and brandish loads of firepower as they embark on a fantasy as a means to get away from their depressing lives to find five keys that might guarantee their freedom. Like the animated cult rock movie, Heavy Metal (1981), Sucker Punch offers up plenty of updated rock songs throughout the fast paced imaginary action sequences. Every now and then, the group’s leader, Wiseman (Scott Glenn), shows up outlining their latest mission before leaving them with a few words of advice. My favorite line of his being: “Don’t ever write a check with your mouth you can’t cash with your ass.” Visually, the film itself is great to look at but by the time it’s over, Sucker Punch feels like a dream you can’t quite make sense of much less decide whether or not you want to visit such a place again. PG-13, 110m. Reviewed 3/28/11. ««½

The Lincoln Lawyer: The plot of The Lincoln Lawyer sounds like something I would expect to read in a John Grisham novel about the law where a Los Angeles defense attorney (Matthew McConaughey) gets more than he bargained for when he defends a millionaire playboy (Ryan Phillippe) accused of rape. I could see where the conclusion is headed before the film arrives there. Still The Lincoln Lawyer is a comfortable ride, or about as comfortable as the back seat of that Lincoln town car McConaughey’s character conducts business in. R, 118m. Reviewed 3/18/11. «««

Battle: Los Angeles: Battle: Los Angeles lacks all the usual ingredients that make up a fun popcorn movie. Most of the characters lack so much depth that when some of the military servicemen go down in the line of fire fighting alien invaders from space I didn’t know them well enough to care. The film’s jerky camera movements look as though half the movie was shot using a hand held device. The aliens themselves reminded me of those towering Cylon robots from the updated Battlestar Galactica (2004-2009) television series. That is up until the close-up shots of their actual bodies much of which consist of a lot of messy alien innards as Staff Sgt. Michael Nantz (Aaron Eckhart) and his men attempt to dissect one of the species as a means to find their weak spot. Battle: Los Angeles is not going to receive any Oscar nominations but in my opinion it’s certainly not bad enough to earn any Razzies either. The film’s focus here, though, is not so much about the aliens plundering Mother Earth of our precious resources and wiping out civilization. It’s about our nation’s military marching in to do a job no one else has the guts to do. In Battle: Los Angeles, the United States Marines do it without question where military leaders give orders as though the “City of Angels” is the rallying battle cry for “Remember the Alamo!” I don’t know what director Jonathan Liebesman and screenwriter Christopher Bertolini’s intentions were when they made Battle: Los Angeles but the film offers two things: American patriotism and respect for our nation’s military, something sorely lacking in a lot of today’s liberal America bashing movies. PG-13, 116m. Reviewed 3/14/11. ««½

The Adjustment Bureau: The question over whether our destinies are already pre-determined by God’s personal agents dressed in business suits is explored in this short story by late author Philip K. Dick. The great surprise The Adjustment Bureau offers up is that it thankfully is not one of those, “If you don’t follow your path, the end of the world will come about” kind of thing that’s practically been explored in forgettable science fiction films of the past. This is more of a love story where the romance between a politician (Matt Damon) and a ballerina (Emily Blunt) is tested by unexplained forces trying to keep the two apart. PG-13, 106m. Reviewed 3/7/11. «««

The King’s Speech: Anyone with a fear of speaking before an audience or having a problem with stuttering will likely be able to relate to this true story about King George VI (Colin Firth), who with the help of a speech therapist (Geoffrey Rush) was able to overcome his shortcoming to become the ruler England so desperately needed as the specter of World War II loomed on the country and the world. I have no doubt that the film will win big given its 12 Oscar nominations. Of course I have a feeling the upcoming Royal Wedding of Prince Harry and Kate Middleton also helps the film’s Oscar chances as well. R, 118m. Reviewed 2/23/11. «««

Unknown: Unknown offers up the kinds of unexpected, if not unbelievable plot twists and turns that have been found in better suspense movies, in particular the films of Alfred Hitchcock. This is a one note performance movie where the acting honors go to Liam Neeson for making the film watchable as he plays a surgeon who awakens from a coma following an auto accident while on vacation with his wife (January Jones) only find out he isn’t who he says he is. With the help of a cab driver (Diane Kruger) Neeson’s Martin Harris attempts to find out his real identity before the film arrives at its predictable action packed conclusion. When Neeson’s character finally figures out his true identity, he tells the villain, “I didn’t forget everything. I remember how to kill you, asshole.” I started thinking maybe the filmmakers should have made Unknown as a sequel to Taken (2008) where Neeson played a similar role as a former spy who takes on the sex slave trade all by himself after his daughter is kidnapped. I will say one good thing about Unknown. With its location set in Germany, the film made me want to travel there one day. At its best, Unknown could be the equivalent of a great travel brochure. PG-13, 113m. Reviewed 2/21/11. ««

The Rite: I am sorry but after seeing a demonically possessed young girl spew out green vomit and utter foul mouthed obscenities I cannot publish here (actually I could as it is my blog but I won’t) in The Exorcist (1973), I find there is no way any other horror movie about demonic possession will ever compare, or for that matter, top some of the shockers seen in that earlier film. Hence the problem with The Rite which is supposedly based on a true-life account about a seminary student (Colin O’Donoghue) who is sent to the Vatican to attend exorcism courses. The seminary student's  faith is tested upon meeting a fellow priest and exorcist (Anthony Hopkins) who has come under demonic possession himself. The Rite explores the same themes The Exorcist did where the lead character either loses or questions his faith before finally finding it again. There is nothing shocking about seeing demonically possessed individuals vomit out long metallic nails as they are exorcised here. The only time the film caught my real interest were those brief scenes of the seminary student attending exorcism classes where while the instructor shows pictures of various demons on a projector, the power for no apparent reason goes out on its own and class is canceled for the day like as though the forces of darkness were in play here. That’s too bad. I think that exorcism course would have been far more fascinating to sit through versus this movie about one’s personal experience battling one of the devil’s loyal subjects. R, 114m. Reviewed 2/7/11. ««½

The Company Men: If the news about how bad the American economy has gotten in recent years and the rising statistics in unemployment has not driven the point home as to how dire things are in this country right now, The Company Men might just finally bring that grim point home as the lives of three corporate employees (Ben Affleck, Tommy Lee Jones and Chris Cooper) are turned upside down in different ways upon being let go from their high paying jobs. Over a dozen people attended the late matinee showing when I saw the film, which I found a little unusual as it was during the week. On any other day, I would see less than a handful in attendance. I suspect the reason so many patrons showed up was because they could identify with the characters' situations where either they themselves have gone through the experience of being laid off and having to suddenly tighten their belts when it comes to finances. Or they may know someone else who has or is going through such a painful experience right now. The Company Men is a movie for our current times that makes me hope years from now, if not sooner, people can look back and be glad such hard times are long gone. With the state of the economy and the rising statistics in unemployment, however, I am not so sure that will ever happen. PG, 104m. Reviewed 1/31/11. «««½

The Green Hornet: The best moments in The Green Hornet are not the action sequences as The Green Hornet – a.k.a. Los Angeles millionaire playboy, Britt Reid (Seth Rogan), and his sidekick, Kato (Jay Chou) do battle against the Los Angeles underworld led by Russian gangster Chudnofsky (Christoph Waltz). They are when Reid and Kato are together working as a team or going at each other’s throats arguing about who put this crime-fighting duo together. The Green Hornet is the first one-note performance movie I have seen that’s actually a two-note performance movie thanks to Rogan and Chou. PG-13, 108m. Reviewed 1/17/11. ««

The Fighter: The problem I got with The Fighter is similar to the same issues I had with The Blind Side (2009). My issue with The Blind Side is the film’s focus was not so much on Michael Oher, the struggling, homeless African-American kid who went on to become an All American football player and first round NFL draft pick. I found the film was more about the foster mother, played by Best Actress winner Sandra Bullock, who took him into her home. There is something wrong with a sports movie where I am made to almost cheer for a character, who is really not the focus of the story. The same goes now for The Fighter, which focuses, or is supposed to focus, on the early years of boxer “Irish” Micky Ward (Mark Walhberg) in the mid-1980s. Turns out the ones stealing the show, not to mention the well deserved Oscar nominations is Christian Bale as Ward’s troublesome brother and former boxer turned trainer, Dicky Eklund, whose battles with drugs and skirmishes with the law sidelines his career, Best Supporting Actress nominee Melissa Leo as Ward’s overbearing mother and boxing manager, and Amy Adams, also a Best Supporting Actress nominee, as Ward’s protective girlfriend who seems to be the only one really in his corner backing him up against his family. These three characters are the ones I find much more interesting than Walhberg’s Micky Ward who looks like a guy sitting in a room at a family get together where everyone is talking and he can’t seem to get a word in edgewise. R, 116m. Reviewed 1/10/11. ««½

©12/26/11